PILLS!

So I have rejoined the vast majority of the world and am again medicated.

Some of you know or maybe remember when I was on ADD meds. I used to be somewhat heavily medicated for my abysmal attention span. To put it into perspective, I went from an D student to an A student in college. YAY MEDS!

I also went from being random, spontaneous, happy, boisterous, and fun to being flat-lined, predictable, 9-5 working stiff.

Needless to say, I decided to forgo the grades for my personality and quit taking the meds.

I've been having a lot of weird anxiety attacks lately, I've had them for years, but recently I'm beginning to take much larger concern towards my craziness.

So after a whole lot of tests, questions, and even some blood lose, I am now on two new pills!

The doc was surprised I hadn't been on anything for my depression/anxiety before, said it was a very good thing I was now doing it.

I also am taking some meds for my mass migraines that attack every now and then.

Basically I'm writing this to say "Hey, if I start to become really weird or my writing starts to suck (more) please let me know."

I want to be this guy, I enjoy who I am, and I'm proud to be him, I'd like to lose the whole "Is that person laughing about me" thing but I am not willing to give up on how awesome I am.

Cheers to being yourself!

Skot/Scott

On human rights.

Watch this.

I don't know you.

I don't know how old you are, or where you live, or where you come from, or even what most of your names are.

But I want to share a bit of myself, and maybe we can all understand something from it.

I am a geek. I'm a nerd, a dweeb, a weirdo, a freak, whatever. And I like being all of those things. I have long hair, I don't do drugs, I play dungeons and dragons, I like to dance, I cry a fair amount, I talk about my feelings, I write poems and stories, I laugh until it hurts, I dance like there's no tomorrow, and I'm bloody bisexual.

In the current and classic sense of the word, I'm a bit queer.

My entire life I was made fun of for any and all of the above things, I got called fat, I was made fun of for writing sloppy, for falling down, for dropping my pants down to my ankles when I used the urinal in kindergarten (I was laughed at so hard, that to this day, I prefer to use the toilet and harbor a deep hatred for urinals) I was punched, and pushed, teased and tormented. I even ended up in detention once or twice because of someone else hurting me so bad I screamed.

I'm shaking right now as I write this.

I put up with it, I don't know why.

I remember there was one boy who threatened to kill me. He told me he was going to take over my life and live with my family and make everyone hate me after I was gone. How fucked up is that?

I was six when he told me that.

I never seemed good enough for my peers, even though I tried. Oh god I tried.

I tried so hard that I even started to pick on a few people. I hate to admit it, but I joined in so as not to feel left out.

For that I apologize.

I get down on my knees and beg forgiveness from you. I won't mention names, but you know.

Because of all that I have endured and committed, I became what I am. I may not be proud of all I've done, but I did it, and that's it.

I'm still shaking.

I am Scott J. Rieffer, I am Skot, I am Weird, and I am Angry.

So to any of you people who are picking on anyone, for any reason, I have one thing to say: Fuck off.

Leave them alone.

Maybe you don't like it, maybe you don't understand, but there are better ways to tell them that then by punching them in the face.

Skot/Scott

I'm sick.

Send me flowers, and chocolates and cards, 'cause I am under the weather.

What the hell does under the weather mean?

I don't think I've ever been "over" the weather, or on the same level as it..

I have a massive headache, though I get those a lot, it feels like my brain is trying to escape from my head and the only way out is through a cheese grater.

That's on fire.

So I hear tell that eating a mans liver would make me feel better.

Though I think he would feel much much worse for it, so I spose I'll just stick to the medicine I have.

I just had to take three cracks at spelling "medicine" this isn't good.

That liver idea is looking more and more promising.

Though I don't think I'm quite ready to be a cannibal. I just don't have the right set up.

My little sister will be smiling right now about the cannibal thing.

A year or so ago she found out that one of her favorite cannibals (I don't remember who) killed his first victim on her birthday.

She came running into the kitchen where my mom, dad, and I were all sitting to proclaim the news.

Mom and Dad looked at her and started to apologize, I immediately put my hand in the air and yelled "HIGH FIVE!" To which my little sister squeaked, high-fived back, and skipped out of the room leaving my 'rents very puzzled.

I wanna nap, but I don't wanna. blah blah blah

Sigh.

OH! I started another blog at the request of a friend of mine. She asked me to review her band, and so I have started (Just started) to go to shows and stuff and do write ups about them. If you wanna read it Go here. If you have any suggestions to things I should write about, comment below, or e-mail me.

Love you guys,
Skot/Scott

Dear Booze.

Take my liver, rot my teeth, bring me to an early grave
but leave to me the only thing that could make me saved
Leave my voice, my words, my heart, 
Let me sing, and write my part.
take my body and all that's left,
But leave me with my final breath.

~Skot/Scott
3/16/2011

A Very Simple Request.

Ay.
Be.
See.
De.
Ee.
Ef.
Ge.
Ach.
Aye.
Jay.
Kay.
El.
Em.
In.
O
Pe.
Kue.
Ar.
Es.
Te.
You.
Ve.
Double You.
Ecs
Wi.
Ze/Zed.

Elemino, Noun, the rough or exact middle of something. "I think I've reached the elemino of this assignment." "These new words are hurting the elemino of my brain."

I think the world needs another word for center.

I am asking this as a simple favor, please help me out here.

From the elemino of my heart,
Love,
Skot/Scott

P.S. Never forget that it started here, created by Skot and Lauren Rieffer.

Sorry folks, been awhile.

No real excuses here, but I've been going through some weird internal shit lately, so I haven't been in a good place to write.

Which just proved to make me more sad.

But here I am now and I will get back on this horse, and ride that bastard 'till he drops.

Take that PETA.

hehe, I should start drinking me thinks..

1st shot: When I was about 16, pushing 17, I was in a heavy pagan phase, you know what I mean, where you just read everything that isn't one of the big mainstream religions. (P.S. ADD moment, watch this.) And pretend to do things and just mostly have angst at everything else. Yea, that.

2nd shot: (Hehe, I lost my bottle for a second) I was also heavily involved in this theater company, where I met one of the sweetest ladies ever. Colleen always was super nice to me, helped me out with whatever I needed and always smiled at me and remembered my name when she forgot everyone's else's.

She was part of this new church group which was about twenty minutes from where I lived and they had a strong youth thingy (3-8 year olds) (Shot 3) I should also mention that I had my long hair for about a year now, so it was around shoulder length, and I had somewhat of a beard (I have had facial hair since I was about 15) Colleen, as well as plenty of other people, thought that I resembled Jesus, (Not the black, historically accurate one, the "real" Christian bigotry one.)

Shot 4: So to recap this crazy twisting path. I was pagan (as I still am, just much less in your face about it) had long hair and a beard (which I still do, just less in your face about it...?) and was asked to play Jesus for a church that I wasn't part of (...What? You want me to write something in here? ELEMINO!)
</recap>

So the gig was on a Sunday, earlyish morning (I think I had to be there at about 10, which wasn't early for me then, but definitely is now.) I showed up at this hotel lobby where they were holding their services (I think they now have a small building downtown) and about 6 elderly women greeted me. They went around introduces themselves with names I didn't remember then let alone now.

These women proceeded to explain to me what will be expected of me that day. There would be a short gathering and a few people would talk, everyone would get some food, and then the guy in charge (I hesitate to call him pastor 'cause I unno if he really was a man of the cloth or if he just read from the book, which is cool either way) would start his shpeel where eventually we would say something that would cue me to walk in. I would have changed into a robe and donned a thorny crown for this, and I come in saying the "I am the alpha and the omega," bit. I would sit in the front of the church where I would read random bible quotes to children who came up to me, and pt my hand on their heads and say things like "bless you my child."

How much more blasphemous could I be? I'm a bloody pagan posing as Jesus, touching children...

Shot 5: Shot 6: So I've sort of written (and drank) myself into a corner here, the actual event was not that bad, it was just a little creepy. The hilarious part happened before any other worshipers showed up, while the blue-haired women were explaining things to me.

The six sweet old women all crowded around my confused person in order to "channel Jesus"....

They all laid their hands on me and one of them began to pray to Jesus to take my body and help me deliver the message to the children. (She also mentioned that I was a good upstanding Christian boy, lol.) They all started to sway back and forth, and at least two of them started to random yell "Thank you Jesus!" and "Praise JESUS!" and (NO LIES) One started to speak in tongues....

I literally almost shit myself.

But after surviving that, touching children, and seriously disturbing some random mother who pissed me off by calling me a satanist (I went off about how her religion took a lot of it's myths from other faiths so hard she I'm pretty sure she wanted to hit me) I was paid for it all! I got 100 bucks for all that was mentioned here.

I'm ok with getting 100 bucks for letting some old ladies touch me.

What does that say?

Shot G: Skot/Scott

P.S. I should add that I have no qualms with Christianity, it's a fair amount of people that bother me. Not just Christians, but people that take anything too far.

Adventures in Technology.

WHOO DOGGY! It's been a little while since I've posted, sorry about that people, I assure you I am not dead yet.

So, to bust back into this after a week or so of mostly procrastination, I am going to tell a small tale of the first part of my day today.

I work at a high school, doing theatrey things, mostly tech. We just started a new show and as part of the whole insurance thingy I need to have the parents of my tech kids sign a safety form.

Now, in order to have them sign it, I must have the form for them to sign.

Here begins my adventure:

I get the document and fix it up to be current with name and date and what-not and print out the single master copy to take to the huge copier to make about 30 forms.

Over the past few months I've maybe had to use this massive machine three times, so I'm not very familiar with it, and I always ask someone for help. Today, I felt good, today, I was gonna show that damned thing who was boss.

This copy machine doesn't just make copies. No no no, that would be FAR to boring. It will make double sided copies without hardly thinking about it, it'll hole punch in five different styles, staple anywhere on the goddamned page INCLUDING the middle (Why? Just why?!) It can laminate and also put little labels on each one in case you forgot to (Like my name and the date or something).

This machine is big.

BIG.

I consider myself somewhat technically minded, as in I can find my way around a computer given a few minutes. So, I put my master copy on the little rack, punched in my code, and hit print.

It took my paper, and started to yell at me.

As if I had just tried to molest it, and this was it's little 'rape' whistle.

I got very scared that someone outside would hear and rush in to see me destroying this very valuable object.

I jabbed the stop button several times, and eventually had to use both hands to get it to figure out that I really did want it to stop smoking (Yes, it was smoking, I was rather concerned as smoking is the leading cause of fires in printers today).

It was also getting really hot in there and I was panicking and starting to sweat.

I replaced the paper, and got my shirt caught.

I checked the ink levels manually, and cut my hand.

I opened up the main thingy to check for paper jams, and managed to hit my head.

Finally I gave up. I walked out of the copy room and into the library to beg one the nice ladies to help me.

Take a moment to imagine this picture: A tall man with his hair half out of his pony tail, unshaven, bleeding, and sweating comes stumbling, defeated, out of the copy room, begging for help....What would Jesus Do?

This really sweet old woman stepped forward with a smile and walked back in with me. I had to suppress the urge to dive in front of her so that the beast wouldn't attack her also.

She calmly walked up to the machine and pushed two buttons (TWO GDMFing BUTTONS) and all my copies came out the other side.

After a few moments passed (where i was quietly weeping in a corner) I realized that a seventy-something woman had just bested me in tech support.

I felt pretty low at that moment, but it got worse still when I realized I had only been at work for thirteen minutes..
FML?

Skot/Scott