Adventures in Technology.

WHOO DOGGY! It's been a little while since I've posted, sorry about that people, I assure you I am not dead yet.

So, to bust back into this after a week or so of mostly procrastination, I am going to tell a small tale of the first part of my day today.

I work at a high school, doing theatrey things, mostly tech. We just started a new show and as part of the whole insurance thingy I need to have the parents of my tech kids sign a safety form.

Now, in order to have them sign it, I must have the form for them to sign.

Here begins my adventure:

I get the document and fix it up to be current with name and date and what-not and print out the single master copy to take to the huge copier to make about 30 forms.

Over the past few months I've maybe had to use this massive machine three times, so I'm not very familiar with it, and I always ask someone for help. Today, I felt good, today, I was gonna show that damned thing who was boss.

This copy machine doesn't just make copies. No no no, that would be FAR to boring. It will make double sided copies without hardly thinking about it, it'll hole punch in five different styles, staple anywhere on the goddamned page INCLUDING the middle (Why? Just why?!) It can laminate and also put little labels on each one in case you forgot to (Like my name and the date or something).

This machine is big.

BIG.

I consider myself somewhat technically minded, as in I can find my way around a computer given a few minutes. So, I put my master copy on the little rack, punched in my code, and hit print.

It took my paper, and started to yell at me.

As if I had just tried to molest it, and this was it's little 'rape' whistle.

I got very scared that someone outside would hear and rush in to see me destroying this very valuable object.

I jabbed the stop button several times, and eventually had to use both hands to get it to figure out that I really did want it to stop smoking (Yes, it was smoking, I was rather concerned as smoking is the leading cause of fires in printers today).

It was also getting really hot in there and I was panicking and starting to sweat.

I replaced the paper, and got my shirt caught.

I checked the ink levels manually, and cut my hand.

I opened up the main thingy to check for paper jams, and managed to hit my head.

Finally I gave up. I walked out of the copy room and into the library to beg one the nice ladies to help me.

Take a moment to imagine this picture: A tall man with his hair half out of his pony tail, unshaven, bleeding, and sweating comes stumbling, defeated, out of the copy room, begging for help....What would Jesus Do?

This really sweet old woman stepped forward with a smile and walked back in with me. I had to suppress the urge to dive in front of her so that the beast wouldn't attack her also.

She calmly walked up to the machine and pushed two buttons (TWO GDMFing BUTTONS) and all my copies came out the other side.

After a few moments passed (where i was quietly weeping in a corner) I realized that a seventy-something woman had just bested me in tech support.

I felt pretty low at that moment, but it got worse still when I realized I had only been at work for thirteen minutes..
FML?

Skot/Scott