Saturday, May 14, 2011

Dreams

I've been having some interesting dreams lately.

Note: Interesting, can mean good or bad. Just saying.

Last night I lost a lot of sleep because I kept reliving some rather bad parts of my childhood where I got bullied a lot.

In these dreams I was super tiny and certain antagonists from my past would hit me and call me names, while my friends from the current era in my life joined them.

When I woke up and thought on it for a while I realized how stupid I was back then. I have always been a rather large kid, I've been six feet tall since middle school and used to weigh close to three-hundred pounds. At any point I could have thrown any of my oppressors through a damned window, even the really fat one. And that being said, there were really fat kids who called me fat and drove me to tears..weird..

I was perusing Facebook not long ago, and decided to look up some of these people.

Man, do I feel better about myself.

If you haven't taken the chance to look at your old bullies, do it. Most of mine are real winners now (sarcasm), makes me proud.

Getting back to dreams, I also had a dream where I purposely crapped myself. I awoke very alarmed. If my dream is any indication to the reality of it, pooping yourself feels somewhat nice though.

This reminds me of a story!

Hehehe.

When I was younger, I'll say 7, I don't really remember, I had a bit of a problem. I'd be playing outside for hours, and come back in much later and would have pooped myself. At first my parents just figured, "Oops, shit happens" (I love puns) But after a few more times they got really concerned. They decided to take me to see a doctor.

The doctor checked me out, he poked and prodded, and eventually took my parents into another room. There he looked at them for a moment before saying "There's nothing wrong with him. He's just lazy. He's having fun outside and doesn't want to go inside."

My parents were noticeably confused, both of them being rather active, ambitious people, they didn't know how to act when they found out their son was too lazy to go to the bathroom like a normal well-adjusted human being.  The doctor picked up on this and said, "I think I can help though."

Back in the room with me the doctor sat opposite of the examining table and looked me in the eye. "Son, we have a little problem here, it seems you can't control your potty time, is that correct?" I nodded "Well I think I can help you, would you like that?" I nodded again, not really paying attention. "Alright, we just need to give you a little shot," He produced this enormous needle, roughly six inches long. I screamed and dove for my parents who were barely concealing their laughter (bastards).

They took me home, and I have never crapped myself since.

Good story.

I was rather hesitant to write this one up, 'cause I didn't think anyone but Oscar would enjoy it, but we'll see.

Skot/Scott

5 comments:

  1. I used to eat soap as a child, and thought that was something completely normal until I was about ten. Granted that's no "I shat my pants on purpose" but sometimes in the shower I still take a little lick, and I buy Zest based only on it's superior taste.

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  2. Untrue, I like this one. I remember it so clearly. That really was funny not the frustration but the outcome. Haha.:)

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  3. Skot I love you. This story is hilarious. Thank you for sharing :)

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  4. lololololololololololol *stalks

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