Thursday, February 10, 2011

Diabetes

I got a lot of positive feedback from the post about my grandpa, so I have decided to do another chapter in "Tales from my family" Sounds sort of epic right?

Note: I am drinking. </note>

hehe, speaking of HTML jokes <Love>...
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Hehe, It's both cute and torture to computer nerds. TEH LOVE WILL NEVER END!!!!

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(</love>)

SO! Now that you're all warmed up, a story about my grandma!

This is Nonnie B. for those of you who read the previous post. Those that didn't WILL NEVER BE MY BEEESS FRAAAN!!!

Ok, enough drunken ramble, click here if you didn't read the previous post.

All my life I have enjoyed spending time with both sets of grandparents, but the visuals from my mom's side are perhaps more vivid (the stories and general insanity that I hold so dear to my heart, stem from the other side [Just kidding Dad]) than anything I can remember from my childhood. My mom's parents have owned two houses as long as I can remember, their normal house, and The Cabin (Cue epic music, perhaps something from Zelda)

But this particular story does not take place at The Cabin. (epic music) It takes place at their normal house.(regular music)

I was really little for this story, I don't know how little, but young enough to not know better. (which in all honesty could be a few weeks ago[WEEKS!?])

I was spending a few days with my grandma, Nonnie B. I doubt I called her that at this age, but I knew that she was the awesome woman who gave me candy, hugs, and put in colorful movies (FERN GULLY!!!)

They had a huge TV too! (Huge= HUGE! It was probably three feet wide two and a half tall and just as deep! It took up so much real estate!) And on top of said TV was a bowl full of M&Ms. Little kid + Candy = well you know...

I began to eat the M&Ms while in the other room my grandma was doing her thing, probably making me snacks and talking to my mom on the phone.

After a little bit of silence from the living room where I was (P.S. Me being silent is NOT normal) My grandma set down the phone to come in and check on me.

She expected me to be asleep like some little angel sent down from high, all nestled into the pillow.

What she found was my face as red as the pits of hell and a look on my face that would have turned the most devote person to the curb. After her initial shock subsided, she realized I was choking.

Now, a little back story about my grandma: I love her dearly, as I do with all my family, but, like most of my family, I do not agree with their morals or views on most subjects. Nonnie B is a firm believer of the 1950's house wife. She cooks, she cleans, she had babies. And she did all of these very well. She makes a mean roast, she has OCD like nothing I've ever seen (eat your heart out Monk) and my mom is one HELL of a woman. Consequently, my grandma never saw fit to learn the Heimlich, let alone what you're 'sposed to do when a child chokes (which is entirely different if you didn't know.)

So taking all that into consideration, her reaction is quite noble. She leaped into action, and grabbed me by my legs. And using a force reserved for Gods in battle, she holds me upside down and shakes me like a stubborn ketchup bottle. And despite this being grossly inappropriate it is surprisingly effective as eighteen M&Ms come pouring out of my mouth.

As I start to regain my natural color, my grandma collapses onto the floor crying like the loving maternal figure she is, while I proceed to eat the M&Ms off the floor.

Moral of the story: Five second rule.

Skot/Scott

4 comments:

  1. BBBBEEESSSSS FFFRRRRAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!! Great story Skot, but maybe stay away from m&m's for a while

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. That's hilarious. Love it. We won't show this to Nonnie, k?

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