Belts make me feel important.

I made a wonderful realization this morning. I was going through whatever I call my "morning ritual" which usually just consists of pulling the sheets higher and higher over my head, until my feet stick out and become cold. At which point I dramatically throw the sheets off the bed and roll onto the floor. Which isn't so bad right now, since I'm sleeping on an air mattress, on the floor.

After spending several agonizing minutes staring at the wood paneling below my face I push myself up and attempt to begin my day.

Today, I sat down at my computer in hopes of writing a few e-mails and setting up some weird schedule thing I should have done a while ago.

I mostly just stared at the screen.

After my third cup of tea I noticed my belt on my bed.

I had slept on my belt all night.

Not that big of deal, except for the metal buckle gleaming up at me, as if telling me how good of a night it had, while ruining mine (my back agrees with this assumption). In a fit of rage I put on my pants, and in some sort of vindication, I shoved my belt through the loops. Almost immediately I wrote three e-mails, set up a letter for volunteers, and at least looked up some valuable information.

This was a big deal.

Side note: While wearing the belt, I also came to the conclusion that work is not allowed in my house anymore. I will do 'work' at work, and I will do 'home' at home. That doesn't sound as nice. Meh, it's done.

Now, with this new knowledge of the super powers within my belt, I began to wonder if I had other magical items in my wardrobe. This is my story:

I began with my belt. Powers Include: Making me feel taller, skinnier, and holding my pants up. Also ability to get shit done.

Three mismatched ties. Powers Include: Looking good when separate, looking like a tool while all together. Granting me future sight. +1 against demons.

Steel toed boots. Powers Include: Kicking ass and chewing bubble gum, too bad I'm all out of bubble gum.

Chauffeurs hat. Powers Include: Knowing how to get everywhere. Making my hair really staticy. Can be used as a thrown weapon.

One mitten. Powers Include: Making you look like a really cold Micheal Jackson.

Bad-ass sweater. Powers Include: Being bad-ass.

So these were some of the things I was able to find right away, most of my stuff is packed up right now, and I felt pretty accomplished by the end of my superhero dress up session. That is, until I realized I wasted about two more hours...

So apparently the magic inherent in one item can cancel out, and even have exact opposite reactions when combined with another magical item.

I was only sad for a small time, until I realized that I am indeed a super hero.

Skot/Scott